Ta da da dum

Finally, he could see the distance that separated him from the crowd. He knew this was not the time to be thinking about it, but he did anyway:

Even though I’m telling rather than showing, even though I am breaking one of the few rules I’ve set for himself, even though I’m probably completely wrong, I’m still proud.

He was proud that he had made true the prophecy of lore. No, not of lore. It was a prophecy only he knew. It was a prophecy that had come to him one day, or so he liked to think. A prophecy that he thought about whenever it needed him.

I’ve been rolling the dice all on my own. Part of me always knew! I am what I thought I was.

And now that it was true, he could see the difference in what he thought the prophecy meant when it came to him that first time, and what he knew it meant now. It was like a song, that changes when the structure is understood. Some songs lose their beauty, but others shine brighter than before.

So, where do I go from here? The prophecy doesn’t say anything after the revelation.

Thought process

He thought about what he thought they were saying, about how he was nothing more than what they thought he was, which was very close to nothing. Then he thought about whether they were correct.

He kept thinking, but he did not get to an answer. So, he thought about whether they were not only correct, but he was hiding from the truth as well. And then he thought about whether he was hiding from this. Then he thought, what the hell while capitalizing each word as it bounced around in head.

Finally, he wondered about his thoughts and laughed at them. Evidently, he was spending too much time thinking.

The Queen

He thought he saw her fingers tremble. "They say that in a democracy, any one can be king", she said. "They say it like being king is a thing to look forward to."

Recipe

We live on borrowed words

We eat them,
We spit them,
And we shit them.

These borrowed words and phrases,
And idioms and proverbs:

Many more intelligent than us,
Many less,
(And unfortunately)
A few even us exactly.

Evil

At first,
I was proud,That I emerged from
The Abyss,
Unscathed by the Evil One.

Later,
I realized,
That my wish had been
(All along)
To scathe the Evil One,
and I had failed.

Walls

He curled his fingers into the closest thing to a fist he could manage, and then he punched the wall. Many times.

But it was a wall, so the wall didn’t move. His hands hurt, though unless he hit the wall at the correct angle. Even then, it hurt after a while.

So, he thought to himself, this is a waste of time. I shouldn’t trouble myself hitting walls. The wall doesn’t seem to trouble itself too much.

And so came the day he stopped punching walls.

Dum di di dum

It was the care,That was the problem.
Before I found a solution,
The problem went away.

Last One Part II

Oops. There was one more that I had to get out of the way.

I had started off November extremely excited about the National Novel Writing Month (www.nanowrimo.org), sure that I would follow all their tips and get 50000 words written by the end of November. The idea was ready, so I was already in a better place than a lot of people. Or so the e-mail said. I told all my friends, and even made them a part of my story, just so I would have even more motivation to get it done.

I decided I would not edit the novel. I wouldn’t re-read it. I would just keep writing. That was what all the motivational e-mails said. Save the editing for December. Write today like there’s no tomorrow.

I have no idea where I slipped and decided to rethink a few bits. I changed the point of view in the second chapter and I was immediately lost. I couldn’t decide whether to rewrite the first chapter or whether to edit it in December, though the latter was obviously the right thing to do. Three days went by with me lost in thinking about the story and I was 6000 words behind schedule. Two more and I knew I would have to give up. This November, unfortunately had been destined to be a busy month the day it began. So, the novel is going to stay in my thoughts for a few more weeks now. The new deadline is the end of January, so watch this space. New ideas are forming as we speak :)

Last one for today

Here’s the thing: I’ve always loved sports. I think I loved to swim once. Then I got bored, or I hated the coach, depending on whether you talk to me or my mother. I loved Table Tennis. I still love Table Tennis. I can’t wait to get to a TT table, but:

a) I’m scared that my hand will shake. That’s happened for the last few years. My right hand shakes sometimes. It doesn’t some other times. It’s distracting and worrying. But then, I think I’ll be okay now.
b) I’m lazy. There’s a TT club, but I have to join it.
c) I’m shy. New people and all.
d) Joining the TT club costs money.

I always loved football. Still do. But for very similar reasons as above, I’m not getting any. Though I have tried to fight my natural instincts and gone and asked a few times. Persistence is the key, I guess. I really like squash too. It reminds me of TT in some ways, and doesn’t in some other ways. I like it that there are games where I do things I didn’t know I could.

Tennis and volleyball are a lot of fun. Badminton is okay, though I don’t play it much. Rock climbing is awesome. But it costs money.

Running. Running deserves a post by itself, because of the love-hate relationship I have with it. Either way, I don’t really consider it a sport when I do it because mostly I’m competing with myself. The post about running might or might not come up one day. We’ll see.

He pauses, and thinks. Wait 3 seconds before proceeding. Really.

This post wasn’t meant to be about the individual sports. It was meant to be about the fact that through my life, I’ve constantly scolded myself for quitting swimming. It’s true. I was a year away from nationals, and I quit. Whether I was bored or it was the coach, it sounds stupid today, doesn’t it? I thought when I started playing TT, I would stick with it, but my academic performance got in the way. But, today, I realized – very completely – that I’m happy doing a PhD, that I like my research and that I would rather do this than be a sportsman. Though I still do want to play football :-|. And TT. And squash.

Whatever it is that I want to play,
I can confidently say (today)
That I’m happier,
With Matlab open and
me lost in a problem
I only half understand.

Judgement

What if the moment of reckoning does not come for him?
What if it does,
and you were the one who was wrong?
All along?

What then?
Will you still be happy about the road you didn’t take?

-Daft